I Siriusly Do NOT Frolic
by Weasleys Against Weasleycest
Summary: Remus is trying to do homework, but Sirius is bored. What happens when they run across Snape on their way to the kitchens? oneshot, Marauder era


**Title:** I Siriusly Do Not Frolic on the Other Side of the Rainbow!

**Beta:** R. F. Lupin

**Author:** Super Smexy Snuffles

**Disclaimer:** Not mine.

**Summary: **Remus is trying to do his homework, but Sirius is bored, so the former is annoyed into going off in search of food and entertainment. But you really don't need much of a summary for a oneshot with the title "I Siriusly do NOT Frolic on the other side of the Rainbow!" ... It pretty much speaks to a person on such a profound level that it is understood by all...R&R PLZ!

I Siriusly Do Not Frolic on the Other Side of the Rainbow!

"Remus, I'm bored," Sirius whined, as he flopped lazily across one of the couches in the Gryffindor common room.

"Then do your homework, or something. I can't help you, and James is off chasing Lily, and Peter is probably gorging himself in the kitchens," Remus replied, not looking up from his book, _10,000 Ways to Determine If You Ha__ve__ Lost Your Mind: An Insight Into the Seemingly Insane. _

"You're boring, let's go to the kitchens!" Sirius insisted. "I'm hungry! Come on, Remus! I'm bored _and_ hungry!" He was now hopping up and down in his seat like a hyperactive toddler, and whined for about five or ten minutes before Remus caved.

"Fine! But stop bouncing around, you're so annoying," He slammed the book closed as he said this, then mumbled to it, "I've already determined that I've lost my mind. Must have happened when I asked the Hat to put me in Gryffindor . . .Or maybe when I decided to be friends with an idiot . . . "

Sirius chose to ignore the remark, seeing as it was two days to the full moon and he was experiencing a MAJOR case of PTB (Pre-Transformation Bitchiness) or as Sirius called it . . . PMS.

They made their way to the kitchens, but on the way Sirius got distracted several times. The first three were the fault of nameless girls. These were incredibly horrifying for a guy who just wants a bit of food and butterbeer or one who doesn't even want to be going anywhere at all (they weren't pleasant for the rest of us to see either . . . ). Thusly, as they were little more than Mary Sues (EWW!), we shall not be discussing them further. The fourth, however, came crashing into Remus and Sirius in the middle of the Entrance Hall, literally. The one, the only, _Snivelus_, manky Slytherin git and spokesperson for Blubber Brand, makers of the finest blubber made shampoo in the world.

"Watch where you're going, you moronic blood traitors. Some of us have important business to take care of," Snape spat as he got up

"Well if it isn't dear Snivelus! Off to frolic on the other side of the rainbow with your boyfriend, aren't you?" Sirius said, smiling as though someone had given him a lifetime supply of dung bombs.

"I do _not_ frolic! And I most _assuredly_ do not do so on the other side of the rainbow, you mangy mongrel." With a swish of his cloak, Snape began to walk away.

"Yeah, just like you don't dunk your head in a vat of grease every morning!" Sirius laughed.

Snape, who was about to walk away, stopped dead (alas, not literally), and whirled on Sirius, wand drawn. Remus at this point, as the ever observant and moody werewolf, spoke.

"You do realize that not only are you attracting a crowd, Snivel- I mean Snape, you are probably late for you, um, meeting." He was, as always, right and Snape turned to leave.

"See, he can't wait to go frolic on the other side of the rainbow with his lover boy!" Sirius exclaimed with glee. He enjoyed nothing more than goading Snape like this, even if the joke was a bit overdone.

"I _seriously_ do not frolic on the other side of the rainbow, and if you do not cease I will Avada you right now," Snape growled, which was quite creepy.

"There you go wanting to be me again, but it's never gonna happen. And you got a key point wrong. I'm Sirius, and my middle name is Orion, not Lee," Sirius replied jovially.

"_LEVI__CORPUS!_"Snape shouted, and within second Sirius was hanging upside down, midair, dangling by his ankle, seemingly on an invisible rope.

Snape smirked and walked away. But as Sirius was unable to let someone else have the last word, he shot a hex at Snape, which turned his robes into a sparkly pink tutu, and then said "Tarrantangula," the dancing hex.

"Well, Moony, are you gonna leave me here or what?" Sirius asked, arms crossed over his chest and trying to look menacing. This was a difficult feat, seeing as he was still upside down and hanging by his ankle.

"_Libracorpus!_" Remus mumbled, and Sirius fell to the ground with a pleasantly loud thud. "Are you still bored?" He asked. "Or must we go hunting something else to entertain you? Can we just go to the kitchens? I bet you two sickles that's where we'll find everyone."

"You're on!" Sirius said eagerly. "Besides, I _am _still hungry, let's go!" And they went off to the kitchens, where they found Lily and James civilly discussing something about chocolate, and Peter, who was gorging himself on whatever the swarms of house elves gave him.

"Told you, that's two sickles, Padfoot," Remus said smugly as he sat down and took some food from an elf.

"Fine." Sirius threw the money at him, but didn't argue further because Manky, his favorite house elf had arrived with his much-loved foods.

And they all lived happily ever after, except Peter because he OD-ed on sugar and died. Then, years later, Sirius was the Potter's Secret Keeper and they didn't die, and everyone, including Sirius didn't die like J. K. Rowling said they did. And then Moldiepants DID die and everyone else lived happily ever after.


End file.
